Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
