just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
