we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
