I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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