My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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