you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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