Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize