does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
