she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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