I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
