Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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