he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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