they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
FUCK WHALES
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
