i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
