In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
