Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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