dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
