What a fucking waste of an outfit
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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