Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
