how can u be prego again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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