Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
