and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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