Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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