I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
