Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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