it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
