he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
