everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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