you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize