Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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