My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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