I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
