My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
