So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
