So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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