Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize