why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
