i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Enjoy the penises
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
