That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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