he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
