I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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