you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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