I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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