How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have aggressive nipples.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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