wakey wakey hands off snakey
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize