I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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