i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
