I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
