so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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