I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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