I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize