The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
