her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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