It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
