i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
