Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize