No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
