I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
