I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
