Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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