I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
