i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
