dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
