the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Randomize
