just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
