Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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