She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
