I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
