Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize