why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Houston, we have a blender
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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