Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
