As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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