How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize