he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
