Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize